Thursday, July 14, 2011

Maree Rose Clark

     The most perfect person I have ever met resided in my belly for 9 months and I said good-bye to 3 weeks ago today.  She is our angel baby and her name is Maree Rose Clark.
      On June 23rd I was induced to give birth to our sweet girl.  We knew she had a birth defect called anencephaly and would not be able to live for long, but we hoped to have a little time with her before she returned to heaven.  My labors were not very long with our other 6 kids, but because of the shape of Maree's head this labor was different and much longer.  The last time I felt her kick was about an hour or so before I started pushing, so I knew soon after I started pushing that she was gone.  I felt at peace, but my body was having serious issues.  My blood pressure had dropped dangerously low and my uterus had ruptured - I was bleeding to death.  I was rushed to surgery and had an emergency C-section and hysterectomy.  I can remember everything until they gave me something to make me "fuzzy" to do the surgery.  Taylor and the hospital staff were all very worried, but the interesting thing was that I was not worried or scared in the least.  I know I had my angel baby with me as well as my parents who passed away 8 years ago, and I was filled with such an incredible and perfect peace.  Maybe I got a little taste of heaven.
    During surgery, Taylor was not allowed in the room, so he had to go and somehow explain to our other 6 children that their baby sister was gone and that their mom was not doing well and the doctors were trying to save her.  Taylor gathered the kids all close and had a prayer with them.  After Maree was delivered, Taylor and the kids all got to hold her and spend time with her while the doctors finished up with me.  A kind volunteer photographer took some beautiful pictures of them that night.  Once I was awake after surgery, Taylor brought my baby to me and he gave Maree and I both blessings with the help of his dad.  I can't remember much of what was said, but it gave me great comfort.  Taylor's mother said that I had a beautiful glow that night like I had maybe been visiting with angels.
    Maree was able to donate here heart valves the next morning and will possibly save the lives of up to 3 other babies - she is a hero.  The nurse also told us that when my uterus had ruptured the baby had fallen into the hole and was putting pressure there so that I did not bleed as fast, so she also helped to save my life.  It is amazing what this little baby could accomplish, and she never even took a breath.
    Needless to say, Maree's birth did not go as we had planned or hoped, but it all probably happened the way it was supposed to.  Taylor and I were blessed to be able to stay in the hospital together the entire 6 days I was recovering and hold our baby girl.  Those days were priceless!  Now we try to move forward with faith and hope one day at a time.  Our hearts are broken, but we know that our family will be together again and our little angel Maree will be watching over all of us.

9 comments:

Chatty Natty said...

I'm so glad you wrote this post...it's beautiful. The pictures are priceless and I especially love the one of the entire family. You're all my heros. We love you!

Nat

Mitch said...

Thanks for sharing. Love you!

Unknown said...

Hugs and tears for you this day. May you feel the love of our Savior and understand that this is part of the plan. You are incredibly strong and faithful through this trial.

Nate and Paige said...

beautiful beautiful. We love you.

Brooke and Dustin Jackson said...

i am paige's sister, and i just wanted to let you know my heart and prayers have been with you guys from the first time you found out about maree.
i was so sorry to hear your birth story. but she is a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL baby, and in all of those pictures you look two look at such peace. i'm sure your world feels crazy and unsure right in this moment. but i know beneath it all you have peace. this post and these photos scream it.

i am so sorry for your loss. despite your hurt, i hope today you feel sunshine.
xo
brooke

amanda said...

This is a beautiful tribute to your daughter! You and your whole family are amazing! Our thoughts and prayers are with you! What a wonderful blessing Father in Heaven has given us to be with our Families FOREVER!!!!!

Jayson and Julianne said...

The pictures are beautiful. What a special little baby. We love you all.

Sunshine Promises said...

Jannie and Taylor,
How our thoughts and prayers have been with you the last few weeks. We too know of the loss that you feel. It is deep, abiding and yet - somehow - pulls you to Heaven. You just can't describe it.
Know that in the coming days, weeks and months, you will feel varying degrees of Grief. All those feelings are normal. And NOTHING is wrong. We have learned to accept all these feelings as our friends because they lead us further down the road of Healing. What a blessing that is.
We have a gift to send your little family. I will get your address from Natalie in hopes that it brings a smile to your faces.
You are loved -
Your Angel Parent Friends,
The Wilkinsons

Brooke Wentzel Stephens said...

Oh, Jannie. I am so sad. I had no idea. Bless you! Thanks for sharing.